Solving The Problem Of ‘Single Male Membership’

Myself and a male naturist friend have been talking about how best to integrate genuine single naturist males into sun clubs and the problems of where a single man might go to get entry to a club. I have decided that if I ever have the money and the land I am going to set up my own naturist club and start breaking a few of the traditional rules on how things have been done in the past.

You won’t find many clubs that do allow single men. When you do, there is a distinctly ‘swinger’ flavour to them. And comments that most visitors to these clubs tend to be men gives a fairly unwholesome imbalance to a visit.

And this is why clubs restrict membership to couples or single women. There is a serious gender ratio problem and I can appreciate that clubs need to keep it balanced so they don’t become ‘single male’ overloaded. And I suppose that’s really the only way they think they can do it. By admitting couples or single females you guarantee that at least half of your membership in attendance will always be female.

I guess additionally, it’s also a ‘better safe than sorry’ approach to trying to keep out perverts. But of course it does unnecessarily tar everyone with the same brush and mean that genuine single males are excluded from clubs, swims and any other number of events. It’s doubly a struggle for those single naturist men looking for a partner who struggle to find a woman with similar interests. All those single females at clubs would be ideal but I guess therein lies another problem. If single women are there for the club, do they really want to get hit on by any number of eager single dudes – no matter how honest their intentions.

And I started thinking about how you would police such a club that allowed single male membership. I came to the conclusion that you just can’t. But I also found it ironic that any man could join a club or swim if he had a female partner on his arm, as if that meant he was genuine and not a voyeur or a perv. Many dishonest men are married and many of them have naturist leanings as well. Just because his wife is there, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s there for the right reasons. So there is no guarantee current rules exclude all the problem people. it’s an incredibly difficult problem to resolve.

My feeling is that a personal recommendation from current club members should be enough to begin a membership process for a single male. I have genuine male nudist friends who I would happily recommend to a club knowing they were there for the right reasons – even if they were hoping to find their perfect nudist partner. And there’s nothing wrong with that in its own right. How else is one to find a naturist partner if not in a naturist setting?

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About genevieveharvey18

Passive naturist who loves to blog.

14 responses to “Solving The Problem Of ‘Single Male Membership’”

  1. paof2 says :

    You find your partner by being open and honest on ‘normal’ dating websites.
    There are women on them who would like to try, or have tried, nudism who for the very obvious reason of not attracting the wrong sort of reply don’t mention it in their profiles. But they look for it in the male ones, and then subject to scrutiny the rest of it.
    I know this because I found my wife through a ‘normal’ dating site. She was open to the idea, we talked about it but it wasn’t the be-all-and-end-all of the blooming romance. In fact our first weekend away was to a naturist finca in Spain, but then the next few holidays were textile. This last 12 months, 13 yrs after we met, we’ve had a week at a site in Yorkshire, a week at a site in Lincs, and we’re going to an open day at our local club today.
    Yes, you might find a partner if you go purely on naturist dating sites, but please bear in mind that you need more in common than the urge to get your kit off.

    • genevieveharvey18 says :

      I agree entirely. I would never a recommend a naturist dating site. I had never tried naturism until I met my partner 18 months ago. He was an experienced naturist of several years and I think he told me from the outset. But then I’m pretty bomb proof. That I was very body conscious before I met him and now I’m not is a testament to how positive the naturist experience can be. Naturism should not be the first and foremost interest a couple share but I also think that it is important for both partners to fully understand what naturism means if one or the other does not wish to try it. I have heard of couples having real problems because one is a naturist and the other doesn’t understand what it truly means and gets jealous or territorial once they see their happy naturist partner out with all the other nudists. So in some terms it is very important to keep a happy balance in a relationship.

  2. carlnudi says :

    As a single male, I have to agree with everything here. It’s quite disheartening to be labeled in some people’s mind as a pervert just because I want to enjoy my naturism in a social atmosphere. But at the same time I know there are quite a few men who have deviant motives in their participation. I do have to say that my club, Sun Coast Naturists in Florida are a very open and accepting group, although I still feel uncomfortable being the only single male at an outing. One way to correct this situation, and you have touched on this in previous posts, is to encourage more single women to try the naturist lifestyle, and to create an atmosphere where they would feel comfortable. Also, your idea of using a recommendation process is excellent. I hope a lot of the clubs pick up on this suggestion.

    • genevieveharvey18 says :

      Thank you. I really hope we can start some inroads into redressing the balance. I’m sure it’s a problem that can be overcome because I think it’s a real shame that it’s causing problems for a huge number of honest decent guys who want to be part of the social group that naturism provides. I can totally understand how some women feel about being in the company of a number of single men but I think that’s primarily because single women at naturist events feel overwhelmed by the number of men purely by their eagerness. Women in naturism on almost any level seem to be regarded as something akin to manner from heaven for many clubs and events and for a single chap to find himself a female partner who is naturist happy is a godsend! Naturism is a male dominated thing, but I think that is generally because men are more confident and less body conscience than women which is why they have embraced it. This is a subject that needs much thought and I’m sure I’m going to be returning to it.

  3. carlnudi says :

    I forgot to ask, but can I reblog this on The Nook?

  4. Rob in Oregon, USA says :

    Thanks for your thoughtful post. I’m a man who would love to try naturism, but my Significant Other is very self-conscious about her body and she’d never try it. My naturist tendencies don’t cause problems in the relationship, at least on the surface, because I simply don’t bring up the fact that I’d love to try naturism; my partner would never understand, and I’m not about to join a group and make friends without my partner also participating. There must be many more men who would love to try it, but aren’t able either because they are single or because their partners are unwilling to give it a go.

    If I were single and dating again, then I think I’d have a problem finding a naturist Significant Other. Being open to naturism would be a big bonus for a prospective partner, but to me at least many other qualities would be more important.

    You men who have women that are willing to try naturism are very lucky. For every one of you there must be five or more of us men who never even get a chance to try it.

  5. Matthew Chiglinsky says :

    Trying to keep out perverts? All male nudists are perverts. How many do you think view porn on a regular basis?

    All nudists are perverts for that matter. Unless it is 90 degrees (Fahrenheit) outside, there is no reason to be nude, and a pair of shorts does not retain that much heat that you need to walk around with your genitals exposed like some filthy animal.

  6. Colin H says :

    Thanks for posting this. It was an interesting article, which both highlights the difficulties and also offers a potential solution. I think that personal recommendation is a good way forward as far as club memberships are concerned.

  7. Matthew Chiglinsky says :

    Nudism is physically and emotionally impractical, especially in the case of men (http://agalltyr.wordpress.com/2012/10/21/the-fallacy-of-tasteful-nudity/)

  8. Matthew Chiglinsky says :

    I’ve got an idea for a social experiment. Create an all-male nudist club, and see how many men actually show up when there are no women around to look at. That should tell you the real, unseemly motivation of male nudists.

    • Jack says :

      I would go to an all-male nudist club/event. You know why? Because the reason I want to do social nudism isn’t to just gawp at women.

      I know that may be difficult for you to comprehend.

  9. The Imp says :

    You mentioned at the beginning of your article that if you had your own club you would do things differently than the way most clubs do it now. I have thought a good deal about this as well, and would be interested your ideas, if you cared to share them. Perhaps another article?

    The issue of the “single” male does not only affect those who are unmarried.

    The club I visit does allow single males to visit, otherwise I would not be allowed in. Most of the “single” men that I have talked to are like myself, which it might be better to term “unaccompanied males” I haven’t been single in many years but my family does not share my interest.

    Despite the fact that “single” males are allowed the club is still very much a wholesome AANR approved family nudist club. I have never seen anything contrary to the real nudist philosophy during any of my visits. I realize every club is different and have their own struggles, but it can work and work pretty well from what I see.

    I imagine that the staff do take measure to balance things in extreme situations but there are a large number of members who have residences on the grounds, and frequently use the common areas so usually the ratio is good. The only time I’ve noticed an imbalance in gender comes when only a bare handful of visitors are there, and then it seems more isolated than overwhelming.

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